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Throwing Up Rainbows: My Eating Disorder and Other Colorful Things
“Every story has a villain. Every story has a hero. I am both.”
For years, Z Zoccolante lived without hope that she could be free from her eating disorder. Her marriage became a love triangle between her husband, her disorder, and her. She lived two parallel lives – but wasn’t good enough at either.
THROWING UP RAINBOWS tells the story of her recovery. It shows how she found the terrifying lightness of freedom and the one thing that brought her home.
Aloha, call me Z
I grew up in Hawaii loving sunshine, beach camping, and shave ice. If we can talk about dark, gritty stuff and laugh in between, we’ll probably be best friends.
I’m an LA-based writer and grad student specializing in substance and behavioral addiction. I work at a drug & alcohol rehab.
I believe that that addiction is addiction, but my story involves an eating disorder. I created this site to share the most important things I’ve learned in my own recovery from my eating disorder. I’m also here as one example to prove it’s possible for you to recover completely from your addiction.
Episode 205: The Loneliness of Life and Addiction
Have you ever been in a room full of people but felt completely empty inside? This is what addiction feels like, the illusion of connection until it hits that you’re alone. This one thing can free you.
Episode 204: Shame is a Magnet for Addiction
Shame keeps us trapped in addictive patterns. It tells us that we’re a horrible piece of crap failure. It tells us we’re unworthy and unlovable. You can battle that voice and win.
Episode 203: How Addiction Works in the Brain
Addiction is addiction. Eating disorders and substance abuse have a common connection. They affect the brain in a similar way, by dolling out dopamine like a dealer to all the good little girls and boys. Here’s how the dopamine affects the brain and how the brain can heal.