Stories of a Life in Recovery

Throwing Up Rainbows

My mission is to take people on journeys of the mind to inspire meaningful and significant change and help create lives of health, happiness, and freedom.

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Episode 201: Sweet 16 and Paper Thin Lies


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Throwing Up Rainbows: My Eating Disorder and Other Colorful Things

“Every story has a villain. Every story has a hero. I am both.”

For years, Z Zoccolante lived without hope that she could be free from her eating disorder. Her marriage became a love triangle between her husband, her disorder, and her. She lived two parallel lives – but wasn’t good enough at either.

THROWING UP RAINBOWS tells the story of her recovery. It shows how she found the terrifying lightness of freedom and the one thing that brought her home.

Aloha, call me Z

I grew up in Hawaii loving sunshine, beach camping, and shave ice. If we can talk about dark, gritty stuff and laugh in between, we’ll probably be best friends.

I’m an LA-based writer and grad student specializing in substance and behavioral addiction. I work at a drug & alcohol rehab.

I believe that that addiction is addiction, but my story involves an eating disorder. I created this site to share the most important things I’ve learned in my own recovery from my eating disorder. I’m also here as one example to prove it’s possible for you to recover completely from your addiction.


Recent Episodes

Episode 201: Sweet 16 and Paper Thin Lies

Eating disorders, like all addictions, show up with charismatic charm. We invite them in because we’re seduced by the promise of having all we’ve ever wanted. Models and media promote these eating disorders and tell us that if we’re only a little thinner we’ll be happy. They lie.

Episode 108: Do we all have eating disorders?

Who doesn’t love a delicious meal or a succulent dessert? Who doesn’t want a perfect body? There’s a fine line between wanting to stay healthy and look good, and slipping off the edge into disorder. How do you know whether your relationship with food has become dangerous, and what do you do about it?

Episode 107: Why I Hid My Eating Disorder From My Parents

I thought they didn’t know. I hoped they’d never figure it out. I hid it from them for aslong as I could for one single, compelling, compulsive reason.

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